There’s a difference between a hand-up and a hand-out. There’s a saying that says, “No man is an island,” meaning no one gets to the top without having help from others, but we’ve become a society that in most cases no longer wants help. We just want everyone to do everything for us.

Most people will tell you they want to change their lives. That’s often a lie. They don’t want to change their lives, they want their lives to change, passively. The only reason babies learn to walk is because they've failed a thousand times before they actually learned the process it takes to walk on their own. Their resolve is a thousand times stronger than most adults. Most adults don’t want to walk, they want other people to do the walking for them, and if they are told to walk on their own, but first they’re going to fail, they won’t even partake in the endeavor.

Most people don’t quit after giving their all and having their all not be good enough, they quit before they even attempt to try, and if they know going in that there are going to be difficulties, hardships, and setbacks, they often just say, “No, thanks.”

As individuals, we are to blame for not fulfilling our promise, but society is culpable as well. How you control people is by conditioning them to believe that they can’t thrive and survive without you. It is the ultimate form of manipulation and deception, and people buy into it hook line and sinker because they don’t want to put in the work, they prefer comfort to effort, and want someone, either an individual, a group, or the government to do it for them, and even when they do have someone to do it for them, they complain that it wasn't enough, wasn’t up to their standards, and that more should be done for them than what they’ve already been handed.

An example of the aforementioned is how we have become a society that treats problems rather than preventing them in the first place. Most people know that if you exercise, eat healthy foods, and don’t overindulge in behavior that is physically or emotionally toxic, there is a greater possibility of preserving one’s health well into old age. Instead, people ignore common sense, refuse to break from toxic patterns, and treat the problems rather than using the necessary discipline to prevent the problems from ever occurring or at the very least minimizing them. Not to discredit the medical industry, because it has definitely been responsible for improving and saving a great number of people’s lives, but in many cases, it has become the excuse for not putting in the work of physical and emotional self-development, which can then become a crutch that we rely on instead of trying to walk by our own strength.

We have all experienced periods of laziness in our lives. Laziness and entitlement often go hand in hand. The lazier someone is, the less accountable they often are. The less accountable they are, the more entitled they feel. The average person wants nothing to do with being successful, and that doesn’t mean monetarily— successful as a human being, because they know how much they’re going to have to work, how hard it’s going to be, and how many setbacks and obstacles they will have to overcome to be successful. Anyone who aspires to be successful already knows they’re going to fail to the point where the average person could not comprehend, but they understand that’s how success eventually occurs.

In today’s world, people don’t want and often despise the process of becoming successful. They just expect and demand results. This is so entrenched in the psyche of so many people that no matter what someone says or does, it will not shake them out of their apathy. Most conversations, articles, or statements are irrelevant. People are going to do what they want to do, they’re going to be who they want to be, and they’re going to act how they want to act, even if it is to their detriment. Until a person chooses to take accountability for everything in their life, nothing will change, and the reason most people’s lives never change is the last thing they ever want to do, which is take accountability.

There’s another saying that says, “You're where you are because of who you are.” For people to even see or understand that would take an entire shift in the way they look at the world and look at themselves. Trying to get someone to be the person you know they can be is irrelevant if they have no interest in becoming that themselves.

No one was born without fault, and everyone has areas of development they lack proficiency in, but letting difficulty and inefficiency become excuses for not progressing in any way will ensure that not only will there not be forward movement, but there will be a steady reverse as well. Most health professionals and health enthusiasts know that if you don’t exercise a certain muscle, the muscle will grow weak and eventually become incapable of supporting the activity it was designed for. The same is true for any skill or ability that a human being is capable of. When we don’t use our skills, they become weak and ineffectual, and when we have a weak skill-set, we become less adaptable and more likely to be overly dependent on others.

Developing our skills is the best way to ensure that we are not too dependent on others, because circumstances shift constantly in life, and what we previously relied upon may suddenly become unreliable or absent altogether. Being highly skilled means we have more points from which to pivot when the unexpected or the unstoppable occurs.

One example that affects many people and has recently been in the news is one of the most basic but most important human needs- the need for food. Government food programs have proven that they cannot be relied upon 100% of the time, and relying solely on them leaves a person without a fallback. A way that a person could gain more self-reliance in that field is to learn to produce their own food. There was a time in our history when most families lived on small private farms, working the land and sourcing their food directly from it. Nowadays, the number of people who produce their own food is the minority. We can see this was caused by urbanization, government subsidies, competition, and many other factors.

The impact it has had is that food production has become more centralized. That may sound like a benefit to some people. It means they are not personally responsible for producing the food that they eat, which also means less work and more time for other activities. What may not be beneficial is the fact that even though the system we live in is well-oiled in some places, it is rusty and falling apart in others. One major problem could affect many other of the system’s components. When we are dependent on that system, and if that system were to crash, as we have seen it periodically do, it can put us in a major state of disadvantage because we have given much of our personal power over to that system.

One thing that people wishing to become less dependent on others do is to grow their own food at home like most people did traditionally. Sometimes outdoor space is unavailable, or the season doesn’t accommodate it, so then creating an indoor garden is an option.

Another example is when we are injured or born with a certain condition that prevents mobility. In that case, finding remote work such as data entry, writing, voice acting, or any other professions that don’t require us to constantly move from place to place are options that can limit our dependency on government assistance.

Most people are capable of developing their skills and reducing their dependency on others. The question then becomes — Are you willing to prioritize your development and take the steps necessary to become the person you know deep inside is waiting for you to take the initiative and maintain the course?