Art of Life/Donna Parker
The Moment Is Here. Where Are You?
We are always looking for a better moment than this one — a more interesting, more exciting, more fulfilling now. We completely overlook the infinite richness that is within us and all around us. The trouble is that past and future exist only as concepts in your head. They have no life of their own.
Many of us give the past and future more importance than the direct and immediate experience of LIFE itself, for example, the cool breeze against the skin, the fragrant smell of freshly cut grass, the sound of the birds singing. When we live in our heads, we miss out big time — not only on the beauty and wonder of life, but also on inner peace, contentment and the feeling of connection. Life is here now.
Living in the moment — also called mindfulness — is a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present. When you become mindful, you realize that you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of your thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Mindfulness involves being with your thoughts as they are, neither grasping at them nor pushing them away. The present moment is the only moment you have control over. No matter how much you plan you never know for sure how life is going to play out. You can choose to enjoy the moment, or you can choose to loathe the moment, or choose to ignore the moment completely and waste it away, but either way, the present moment is yours to control.
Mindful people are happier, more exuberant, more empathetic, and more secure. They have higher self-esteem and are more accepting of their own weaknesses. Anchoring awareness in the here and now reduces the kinds of impulsivity and reactivity that underlie depression, binge eating, and attention problems. Mindful people can hear negative feedback without feeling threatened.
Biologically, we are designed to live slowly, simply and close to nature. As life has become faster and more complex, we have become more and more disconnected from ourselves, from each other and from the natural world. This has resulted in a tsunami of conditions, such as: stress, anxiety and depression. However, cultivating a nonjudgmental awareness of the present bestows a host of benefits, including reduced stress, boosts immune functioning, reduces chronic pain, lowers blood pressure, and helps patients cope with cancer. By alleviating stress, spending a few minutes a day actively focusing on living in the moment reduces the risk of heart disease.
Why does living in the moment make people happier? Because most negative thoughts concern the past or the future. The hallmark of depression and anxiety is catastrophizing — worrying about something that has not happened yet and might not happen at all. Worry, by its very nature, means thinking about the future. The flip side of worrying is ruminating, thinking bleakly about events in the past.
To avoid worrying about the future, focus on the present (Savor)
Often, we are so trapped in thoughts of the future or the past that we forget to experience what is happening right now. Relish or luxuriate in whatever you are doing at the present moment —what psychologists call savoring. You could be savoring a success or savoring music, or nature, etc. When subjects in a study took a few minutes each day to actively savor something, they usually hurried through — eating a meal, drinking a cup of tea, walking to the bus — they began experiencing more joy, happiness, and other positive emotions, and fewer depressive symptoms.
To make the most of time, lose track of it (Flow)
Perhaps the most complete way of living in the moment is the state of total absorption psychologists call flow. Flow occurs when you are so engrossed in a task that you lose track of everything else around you. Flow embodies an apparent paradox: How can you be living in the moment if you are not even aware of the moment? The depth of engagement absorbs you powerfully, keeping attention so focused that distractions cannot penetrate. You focus so intensely on what you are doing in the now, that you are unaware of the passage of time.
The first requirement for flow is to set a goal that is challenging but not unattainable —something you have to stretch yourself to achieve. The task should be matched to your ability level — not so difficult that you feel stressed, but not so easy that you get bored. In flow, you are firing on all cylinders to rise to a challenge. Here are a few options to try:
Observe when your mind begins to focus on the past or future instead of on the present moment you are experiencing. Ask yourself if this thought process is necessary. Simple awareness and recognition of your thoughts will assist you in being more present.
If something is bothering you, move toward it rather than away from it (acceptance). We all have pain in our lives, whether it is the ex we still long for, the jackhammer snarling across the street, or the sudden wave of anxiety when we get up to give a speech. If we let them, such irritants can distract us from the enjoyment of life.
It does not have to be this way. The solution is acceptance — letting the emotion be there. Be open to the way things are in each moment without trying to manipulate or change the experience — without judging it, clinging to it, or pushing it away. The present moment can only be as it is. Become aware of being alive. As you draw your next breath, focus on the rise of your abdomen on the in-breath, the stream of heat through your nostrils on the out-breath. If you are aware of that feeling right now, as you are reading this, you are living in the moment. Nothing happens next. It is not a destination. This is it. You are already there.
