Art of Life/Donna Parker
What Is A Healthy Relationship?
We all know that there will be ups and downs, and ebbs and flows, within any relationship — made even more complex by our own personal ups and downs, and ebbs and flows. What’s more, many couples in unhealthy relationships do not know that they are, especially if they grew up in a household where it was not the norm. So it’s all the more important to be able to identify where yours stands.
What exactly makes a relationship healthy? A great relationship is a safe place for both people to love, honor, and respect one another. No matter how you identify, a healthy relationship is important to cultivate because the opposite — a toxic relationship — takes a toll on your quality of life, by heightening depression and anxiety, impacting sleep, causing you to take up unhealthy habits, and even impacting your heart health.
We go through extensive training to drive a car and spend years in school to prepare for a career, but there is no expected or required training when it comes to the most important part of our lives — our love relationship. No one teaches you how to be a good partner and how to nurture the health of the relationship. Most of us jump in like blind fools, certain that love will conquer all. Here are 10 areas you can use to identify your relationship.
There is a strong sense of trust between you. You openly discuss everything — the good, the bad, and the ugly. There is no hidden agenda and no secrets from your past. Successful couples trust each other in a number of different areas like money, faithfulness, and parenting styles, to name a few. When people can trust their spouse in navigating these issues effectively, the relationship can move forward in a healthy way. Research has proven just how important trust is between married couples. The findings indicate that partners who trust each other are more likely to feel satisfied in their relationship.
You respect each other's differences even if you disagree on important issues. Also, you are able to work to turn your differences into a fair compromise.
You and your partner are on the same page in terms of your basic values and life goals. You both know what you want out of life, what your common goals are, and what you wish to accomplish in life, and you are firmly committed to achieving these together.
You keep your own identity within the relationship and so does your partner. This is so vital. Marriage may be a large piece of the whole pie that identifies who you are. But above all, you are still who you are as an individual beyond your various roles in life.
You spend quality time together doing things that are mutually fulfilling as well as quality time apart doing what is important to you individually.
You and your partner feel safe communicating personal needs and wants. Time is set aside to discuss issues relevant to you as a couple or each of you individually. Listening carefully with undivided attention is essential to real understanding.
You respect each other's differences even if you disagree on important issues. And, most importantly, you are able to turn your differences into fair compromises.
You share realistic expectations for the relationship, not focusing on what you wish or fantasize it should be. Remember that you are dealing with another extraordinarily complex individual in addition to yourself. There is enough to work with without pursuing unrealistic ideals.
You encourage each other to grow and change. In other words, you inspire each other to be better people.
Caring, kindness, support, encouragement, and empathy are the watchwords of a good and loving relationship. There is simply no room for rudeness, meanness, jealousy, insulting, degrading, blaming, guilting, criticizing, judging, or physically acting out, especially when the object is one's partner. Those boundaries cannot be crossed.
Remember when you decide to join your life with another person, it is about embarking on a journey together, for years to come.
