Reflections/Jonathan Gramling
Family Reunion Live!
Family reunions have been an important facet of my life, a source of continuity in an ever changing world. And you could say they gave birth to my life — and the lives of my brothers and sisters —because my parents were fourth cousins who met at a Gramling-Link family reunion so many, many decades ago.
My mom was from Eagle and my dad from Dousman. And while today, it’s a short drive between the two in Western Waukesha County, back then, they were pretty much isolated from each other with each of them being pretty much self-contained villages.
And as we were growing up as kids, there were still Gramling-Link reunions, bringing together disparate parts of the family from all over Waukesha County and beyond to my Uncle Bill Gramling’s farm just west of the village limits of Dousman. I remember my Uncle Bill — he wasn’t my actual uncle, but was my dad’s first cousin — roasting corn on a grill. It was a fun-filled afternoon with organized games like the egg toss and we also went swinging on a rope into a pile of hay in the barn.
Those were fun times that continued on through the years in various shapes and forms — and at various venues — with the responsibility for organizing them rotating from family to family and eventually to the next generation. I took my turn organizing them when in the mid-1980s when my children, Jennifer and Andrew, were pretty young. I felt it was important for them to know the extended family, to know their roots on my side of the family.
I also felt that it was important for them to stay connected to the Ransom side, their mom’s side of the family who were centered in Jackson, Mississippi. I was working for the Madison Urban League during that time in the 1980s, and I always made sure that they spent time with their Ransom relatives every summer.
Forty years ago, I was in pretty good shape and I loved being on the road. And so my former wife Joy would get the kids ready. And I would come home on Friday after work, get the station wagon packed up around 6 p.m. and off we would drive down to Jackson for the 14-16 hour trip. I preferred driving at night because the kids would sleep through most of the journey. I was primed to drive at night due to past jobs as a pizza delivery person and a job where I would deliver fresh donuts to PDQs and Stop-N-Gos as well as supermarkets early in the morning.
So off we would go, arriving in Jackson around 8 a.m. on Saturday and I would get some sleep before catching up with the Ransoms. And then on Sunday morning, I would take off by myself and make it back on Monday morning and after a cat nap, I would go to work at the Urban League.
Well, a few weeks ago, the Ransoms held a family reunion in Jackson — the first that they have held in a while. And like a chip off the old block, Jennifer was one of the organizers. I paid up my fees, which included a t-shirt and was all set to go.
Now I’m not going to lie to you. On the day we left, there was a voice whispering in my ear — my lazy, selfish side — trying to come up with a reason not to make the grueling trip. Maybe I could just say I wasn’t feeling well. But it was important that we go.
And so around 6 p.m. on Friday night, Andrew and I took off for Jackson after Andrew spent the day as a day camp counselor at Wil-Mar Neighborhood Center. I took the first shift, driving five hours to Effingham, Illinois. Jennifer called and I reassured her we were coming and hadn’t backed out. Perhaps she knows her dad better than I thought she did. Andrew and I switched driving twice and around 8 a.m., we were in Jackson and slept a while until we went to the family reunion on Saturday afternoon.
I didn’t really know what to expect because I hadn’t met the vast majority of the people there beyond some who attended my kid’s mom’s and their grandmother’s funerals. But I have to tell you, the Ransom Family knows how to throw a family reunion.
There were organized games and organized activities that allowed people to go up to people they didn’t know to ask questions and therefore get to know their relatives while trying to win a prize. And it was such an easy-going environment that I met relations from California to Georgia and also plenty from the Jackson area. There were so many fascinating and engaging people there and we had some great conversations.
One of the most important things that I learned was how important the land was to the Ransom Family. During segregation and Jim Crow to the present, the land was a source of stability. People didn’t go hungry no matter what was going on in society at the time. My sister-in-law and her husband Percy owned a home on Hwy 49, which went northwest out of Jackson. They had built their home on Ransom land.
I even had the chance to mentor a young college student. He was going to the University of West Florida, majoring in mechanical engineering. I told him my dad earned a degree in mechanical engineering and the conversation took off from there. After dinner when we were just hanging out, he came back and we talked some more. He told me how other students were calling him a nerd. Unbeknownst to me, his mom was listening in on the conversation right behind me. I told him not to listen to them, that there were people who shared his values and career ambitions from all over the world. Those are the people he should seek out. His mom introduced herself and by her smile, I knew she agreed with what I was saying. I pointed out Jennifer and told him that she was my daughter and if he needed to reach out to me, that Jennifer could help him do so.
The next day on Sunday, we met at a church for a quasi-church service filled with a lot of singing, testimonials and preaching. I was so proud of Jennifer for having helped organize this wonderful reunion.
Just as they were breaking for a meal, around 4 p.m. on Sunday, Andrew and I took off for Madison, splitting driving shifts to get us home safely. We arrived in Madison around 6 a.m. Andrew got a couple of hours sleep before heading out for a full day as a camp counselor. I got some shuteye before starting my week’s work.
Family reunions are so important, especially in this day and age when all too much of our interaction is virtual. On August 1, the Gramling-Link reunion will be held in the Dousman area. I am looking forward to seeing everyone. It’s been too long.