By Andrew Gramling and Harry Petsanis: Corporate Consultant, Owner of Accountability Coaching

The comfort zone is a cliche that has been repeated a million times. It’s one of the most overused and misrepresented phrases alive. It is truly not the comfort zone, it is the familiar zone. When people crawl back to something that is unproductive, unhealthy, and denies them personal growth as well as growth in their interactions with others, there is no comfort in that. It may be familiar, but there is nothing about it that allows people to evolve and mature.

People live on autopilot, and they are paralyzed by their own fears. The amygdala, known as the emotional center of the brain, and the structure of the ego were both designed for protection. The amygdala becomes active when we respond to a threat or a challenge in an emotional way, experiencing fear, for example, rather than responding with reason. Both the ego and the amygdala were designed for basic survival, and fear is one of the primary emotions which keeps us stuck in the familiar zone; what feels safe or what is known, even if it is to our detriment.

The reason many people do not extend beyond their familiar zone is not just the fear of the unknown, it is also the fear of failure, not realizing every day that they do not maximize their potential, increase their knowledge, and enhance their value, both to themselves and others, is a day they have already failed. Many people talk about improvement, wanting to change their lives, and improve their situation, but they rarely take action to turn those things into reality. The Chinese philosopher Confucius once said, “The superior man is modest in his speech and exceeds in his actions.”

The first step in changing your life is taking complete accountability for everything that has happened in your life, up until this point, and for everything that will happen in your life from this point moving forward. Write down who you want to be, what you want to achieve, and all of the things you are willing to do to make those things happen. People fail because there is a Grand Canyon-sized chasm between what they say and what they do. There should be no space between their words and actions. They should be completely intertwined and always work hand-in-hand. If every day you find yourself wanting more, ask yourself one simple question: Are you doing more? To change your life, you have to eliminate excuses, avoid blaming, and distance yourself from anyone you are allowing to hold you back.

This is a journey you must walk alone. That does not mean people along the way may not help and aid you on your path, but they are not responsible for you reaching your destination. There is also no question that there will be challenges along the path; people who test us and attempt to throw up barriers in front of us, and it shouldn’t be a surprise when it’s the people who we are closest to because they have gotten used to a certain version of us. What those people are really doing is testing your commitment to yourself and your mission. People are wired to seek out your personal weaknesses and expose them. What not everyone understands is that those are valuable opportunities to identify what our weaknesses actually are, confront them, and grow beyond them.

Many focus on the word mindset. Start by focusing on these two words- Accountability and action. Be honest with yourself, look inward, and assess where you are at, why you have fallen short, and what you are going to do to reverse the direction you have been on. Once you honestly make those assessments, immediately take action to veer in the direction that you will head down and will take you to where you want to be. There is a saying that says, “If you do what you did, you’ll get what you got.” Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. To change your outcome, you need to change your behaviors. To change your behaviors, you need to change the way you think. To change the way you think, you need to take accountability that the thought process you used to have is solely your responsibility. Life is what you make it. At the end of the day, if you do not get to where you want to be, that is solely on you. People always talk about getting a wake-up call. A wake-up call is irrelevant if you are not there to pick up the phone. Do not wait for opportunity to knock. Successful people create their own opportunities.

For more of Harry Petsanis’ work, find him on social media: Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Linkedin, YouTube.