Art of Life/Donna Parker
Do You Know Where Your Happiness Is?
“People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all their lives for happiness.” — Unknown
What is happiness and why am I not feeling as happy as I used to, I asked myself recently. All of this led to my desire to rekindle my happiness and (this is key) with almost no cost. Here is what I found.
Happiness is an electrifying and elusive state. Philosophers, theologians, and psychologists have long sought to define it. Apparently, happiness is more than simply a positive mood; happiness is a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life, one with a sense of meaning and deep contentment.
Attaining happiness is a global pursuit. Researchers find that people from every corner of the world rate happiness more important than other desirable personal outcomes, such as: obtaining wealth, acquiring material goods, and getting into heaven. Current research also suggests that happiness can improve your physical health; feelings of positivity and fulfillment seem to benefit cardiovascular health, the immune system, inflammation levels, and blood pressure, among other things. Happiness has even been linked to a longer lifespan as well as a higher quality of life and well-being.
“Happiness is an inside job.” — Unknown
We all want to be happy. The good news is that we have control over our own happiness. Research shows that much of happiness is under personal control. Regularly indulging in small pleasures, getting absorbed in challenging activities, setting and meeting goals, maintaining close social ties, and finding purpose beyond oneself all increase life satisfaction.
n my quest to increase my personal happiness I discovered the “Human Givens Basic Needs” process. Suddenly, everything made sense to me. I realized I was not depressed; I just had not been meeting my basic needs in a healthy and balanced way. Keep reading to find out how.
Below are the nine different needs categories. Mark each category from 1 to 10 (ten being fully met) how well you are meeting each one, and how. Where you are not meeting a need fully, think about what actions you can take to improve this area, and write down some steps to achieving that.
Do NOT try to improve every area of your life all at once, instead focus first on meeting one need that you feel would make a considerable difference in your life, and then move on to another. Finally, put your stock check or action plan somewhere you can see it daily. The Basic Human Needs list follows:
- Need for attention. We need qualityattention from the people in our lives. More and more people in the world live alone. Unless your needs are being met elsewhere, a lack of attention can lead to low self-esteem, feelings of loneliness, and a lack of connection. Join a meet up group, do an evening course, join a fitness group — anything that gets you out and talking to like-minded people.
- Mind-body connection. The way we look after ourselves physically directly impacts our psychological well-being. Eat healthy to feel good. Get out in the fresh air and get moving to get your serotonin and endorphins levels pumping, which make you feel more alive.
- Purpose and goals. Having a purpose or goal adds meaning to your life. Sign up for a 5K charity run, take up a night class, or volunteer for a local charity. Use your time to do the things you enjoy.
- Connection to something greater than yourself. A sense of connection to like-minded people or others who share your perceptions and work for a common goal is important. Often found when volunteering.
- Creativity and stimulation. Boredom and a lack of achievement can leave you feeling unsatisfied and depressed. Spending time reading about a subject that interests you, learning a new skill or craft, or doing anything that stimulates the creative side of your brain will see you feeling happier and more stimulated. Note: This always works for me.
- Sense of security and safety. Without a sense of security and safety you can feel anxious. Security can come from having a supportive partner, friends, family or even changing your beliefs about what security and safety mean to you.
- Intimacy and connection. It is important to feel that at least one person really knows you for who you are. Intimacy and connection does not require a romanticpartner; it can just be a close relationship with someone, even your pet!
- Sense of control. Feeling that you have no control in a given situation or in life can lead to feelings of hopelessness. In some cases people will over-control to compensate for feeling helpless. Trying to control people and situations you have no influence over will only suck your energy. Control the one thing you can — you.
- Need for status. Being recognized for your talents helps meet your need for status. Take action to do something you have always wanted to do, such as a jewelry-making course, signing up to a sporting group, taking up dressmaking, or volunteering your talents where they would be well received.
Small changes in your life can create a big ripple effect, and you may be surprised by how much happier, healthier, and alive you will feel as a result.
