All of the memories came back. I became Jennifer’s father when she was three years old. I remember introducing her once as my stepdaughter and Jennifer blurted out that she was my daughter. From then on, she was my daughter period.

Over the years, I had provided Jennifer with a lot of care. Right after her mom Joy and I got married, we took the train down to Jackson to pick Jennifer up from Mother’s house on Bailey Avenue Extension on Jackson’s near north side. I felt a little guilty taking Jennifer from a home where she was loved. But Joy wanted to raise Jennifer and now she had the help to do so.

Joy had told me that Jennifer had sickle cell anemia, which gets progressively worse the older one gets and most often results in early death. Joy would cry about this. We got Jennifer under a doctor’s care at UW Hospital I am fairly certain that he was a researcher. He took over Jennifer’s care and he wasn’t satisfied with the diagnosis.

And so this wonderful doctor did research and testing and ended up changing Jennifer’s diagnosis to sickle-thal trait and not full-blown sickle cell anemia. Now sickle thal trait was no laughing matter as it causes very painful episodes when too many sickle cells concentrate in a person’s joints, stomach and other areas. The lack of oxygen in the blood due to the sickle cells causes intense pain. But we were relieved because she wouldn’t be dying prematurely and experience other debilitating effects.

I spent many a night staying up with Jennifer rubbing her joints or stomach, areas where the sickle cells congregated. While we would give Jennifer a pain killer, it only lessened the pain, but didn’t eliminate it. I was so fortunate that I didn’t have a medical condition like that or Andrew, for that matter.

I had also been a house-husband for a year after Andrew was born and we were living in Eagle Heights, the UW-Madison’s family housing. While Joy pursued her undergraduate degree, I stayed home with Andrew and picked Jennifer up after school. I did a lot of cooking back in those days.

As she was set to graduate from West High, Jennifer moved back to Jackson to stay with family. I remember her saying once, ‘I live in a foster home.’ I am pretty sure that she had picked that up from one of her friends. That comment stuck a piker through my heart.

Of course there were lots of good times. Every first Sunday in December, Jennifer, Andrew and I would set out for a tree farm off on Highway 19, just down from Hwy 12. We would walk around inspecting the trees until we found the one just right for our living room. We would cut it down, store in the car, pay the attendant and make the trip back home where Joy would make hot chocolate before I would put our special tree on a tree stand, haul it into the living room and we would decorate the tree for the rest of the afternoon. The Christmas season had officially begun, which including baking cookies and decorating them and many other activities.

In the mid-1980s, the video game craze started and we bought a Ninetendo NES. The most popular games that Andrew and Jennifer would play were Super Mario Brothers and The Legend of Zelda. Jennifer and Andrew adapted to and became adept at the games quite readily. Now the games involved pressing buttons to control the actions of the figures on screen. I was used to more physical games and so I would move my arms all over the place trying to control the actions of the figures. Jennifer and Andrew would laugh and laugh. They would inviye me to play whjen they wanted a good laugh. IO was happy to oblige.

I spent a lot of time with Andrew and Jennifer. I planned my vacation from the Urban League around their school calendar. We would go hiking at Devils Lake State Bark, exploring Aztalan State Park to explore the culture of Indigenous people who called it their home. And there were all of the family holiday get togethers family camping and other activities.

After we got divorced, there were trips to Tampa, Florida to see my friend Anna and her family. For several years, I was basically a single parent when Jennifer was in her adolescence. I was a horrible mother, but a great father. I wish I could have been great at both.

And so as I saw Jennifer walking across the parking lot, I had all of these emotions swirling inside. I wasn’t sure what to expect. But when we approached each other, we hugged. Everything was going to be alright.