People are often consumed by control: controlling what other people think, say, do, how they feel, what they feel, and how they perceive others. The truth is we have very little control over anything, and definitely no control over what other people think, feel, say, do, or how they perceive us.

People often believe if they can create a narrative or paint a picture by prefacing something, it will alter how someone thinks and feels. Most people in life immediately make up their mind about everything, and the more facts you present them, which contradict their predetermined narratives, the more firm their grasp becomes on holding onto those narratives. There are often two types of people— those that look at the clues, facts, and evidence, and then draw a conclusion, and then those that immediately draw a conclusion and twist and contort the clues, facts, and narratives to align with their predetermined hypotheses. The former is accountable, while the latter is not, and the unaccountable will never be able to see things as they truly are.

Control is also a form of unaccountability. Subconsciously, many people do not want to put in the work necessary to improve themselves. They resist the work required to confront what needs to change, but subconsciously they are aware they have issues that need to be resolved and avoid them by redirecting their focus on trying to control others, which never addresses the root of the problem.

If you objectively look at most people, the topics they talk about on a daily basis are things they have no control over. And when that focus is not paired with action or personal growth, it produces no real change. It becomes a loop—discussion without transformation—serving more as distraction than contribution. It simply becomes a form of avoidance, which is the highest form of unaccountability. It doesn’t matter what the topic is. It could be race, religion, or politics, and someone can talk about it around the clock, and it’s not going to change a thing. That’s not to trivialize the problems that exist in the world, or suggest that ignoring problems completely makes them go away, but contrary to what we’ve been told, losing ourselves to a “greater cause” is not the highest form of service we can provide to the world. What the world truly needs is everyone striving to reach their highest potential— a journey which is never truly fulfilled, so that everything we do has that much more value and impact than it would if we were operating at only 25% or even 50% of our capacity. When we completely surrender ourselves to or allow ourselves to be consumed by something larger, we often neglect our own personal journey, which is not only the true North Star in our lives but also the field in which we can harvest the most of our growth potential.