Unorthodox Angles/Andrew Gramling
The Path to Self-Fulfillment: Part XIII– Moving On
A continuation of our series on personal evolution, truth, and accountability.
By Andrew Gramling and Harry Petsanis, Corporate Consultant, Owner of Accountability Coaching
Once you make a decision, you have to immediately align your actions with it, or it will remain only an idea or a desire, indefinitely. Maya Angelou once said, “Once you become aware of something, you can no longer use it as an excuse.”
When it comes to relationships or life in general, people use excuses, justifications, and rationalizations to ease their consciences and not align their actions with their words. People will often say, “My marriage is unhealthy, and this is no longer good for me.” Then they will spend the rest of their lives in the marriage they are complaining about and will justify why they are not leaving something that is emotionally, psychologically, and physically unhealthy for them.
We do that with family as well. Everyone has a family member that does not work for them, but they will continue to try to fit the square peg in the round hole and rationalize it by saying, “Well, it’s my mother, father, sister, or brother, and it’s not that easy or simple to just cut them loose.”
Most people want to do nothing more than complain or talk a big game, but rarely when it’s time to match actions to words do they ever step up to the plate. There are often two options in life. Option A is to remove yourself or move on from someone who is not healthy for you, or option B, stay in the situation, refuse to complain, and suffer the consequences of not having the confidence or faith in yourself to stake your own claim, make your own mark, and sever ties with anyone or anything that impedes your growth, goals, and words.
There’s a saying that says, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” What most people want to do is not choose option A or B; they want to choose option C, which is stay, complain, continue to put the ownership on the other person, and find every reason possible to either avoid or contradict the things they told you are important to them. If someone isn’t your cup of tea, then just pour the tea out, but if you choose to continue to drink the tea, swallow it, don’t complain that you have a stomachache, and don’t blame the tea as if it’s the problem.
The great thing about accountability is that it removes the blame we place on others and puts the responsibility back upon our own shoulders. This may sound counterintuitive, as most people don’t want to admit that they are responsible for most of their problems, but having the courage to step forward and accept the position we are in and how we have contributed to it puts us in a place where we realize we have the ability and the power to create the life we say we want. Our problems with other people and situations are usually exactly that — our problems, and they are always worth reflecting on.
Most people that dream do not do, and most doers have a dream, but they don’t spend their lives in a dreamlike state. They acknowledge the dream and then never mention it again and spend the rest of their lives taking action to turn that dream into a reality.
There is nothing wrong with dreaming, but to dream without taking action is like spinning our tires in an evolutionary sense, and doesn’t create the traction we need to be able to move on from the circumstances we feel no longer serve us. Dream first, then do.
For more of Harry’s work on accountability, find him online at:
tiktok.com/@harrypetsanis