| What happens when you discover someone isn't really who they say they are or that the person you invested time and energy getting to know really isn't the person you wanted them to be? This happens more often than many of us might realize. it happened to a friend of mine. I don't know all the particulars but I know enough about the situation to know that the person they were spending quality time with and sharing themselves with took them for a ride. They pretended to care about them and like many of us, they trusted this person. They trusted this person with things I as of yet, have come to fully understand and perhaps I'm not suppose to. Perhaps the lesson in this for him and for all of us is, people do show us who they are yet we don't want to see it unless it agrees with the image of who or what it is we need them to be. I don't know how my friend will bounce back from this because trust will not come easy for the next person they want to get to know and perhaps that is how it should have been with this situation. Perhaps we too easily give away ourselves to people who haven't yet earned that right. Perhaps we need to be more realistic and see people for who they are and not what we want them to be. Perhaps we should be patient and let relationships build over time. This could happen to anyone so being judgmental is not an option. I'm not suggesting we look suspiciously at the people in our lives but if ones gut is telling them something isn't right perhaps one should re-evaluate the situation. My friend has given permission for me to refer to their situation. Having known they will be the topic this week, they have said their fear is not that people will find out they were vulnerable and got hurt in the process but that those who intentionally hurt people will not stop to think about the impact of their actions on others. Bad things can happen to good people and it's important that people have others who they can trust and rely on for support when needed. I guess the moral of this is that we have to treat each other better and when someone trust us with their feelings, their hearts, their vulnerability ... we must act responsibly. And to my dear friend ... this too shall pass. |
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