Simple Things/ Lang Kenneth Haynes
Space Prison
Australia became a British penal colony sometime in the late 1800s. The indigenous people — that came to be known as Aborigines — had
their lives, languages, dignity, heritage, bodies, minds and culture snuffed out or severely minimized, marginalized and demonized like other
groups of “discovered” peoples around the globe.
According to a United States Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics report, there were about 2,293,000 people behind bars at the
end of 2007 with roughly two-thirds of this staggering number in prisons and one-third in jails. Two-million incarcerated people was a record a
few short years ago. Other sources indicate that 60 percent of jail and prison inmates are racial and ethnic minorities. The United States
imprisons the largest number of people in the world. Over 2,000,000 inmates represents not only the greatest proportion of a population behind
bars, but also the largest sheer number of incarcerated people.
There is much talk, research and speculation these days around the question of which planets could possibly sustain life. The presence or
absence of water is a key consideration. It seems a bit presumptuous, to me, to assume that water is required for life to exist. Water is certainly
necessary for life as we know it, but chances are that there are other types of life in the universe and that there could quite possibly be life forms
that do not require water. It is also not unreasonable to say that there is a good chance that our definition of “life” is largely limited by what we
know. For all we know H1N1 could be a visitor from another planet or a visitor could be sitting on your right shoulder at this very moment
without you knowing it. Whenever the term “life” is used I think it should be followed by “as we know it.” Many of us remember reading about
how people were killed for having the audacity to believe and say that earth was not the center of the universe. Earth is one speck among
countless celestial bodies.
And there is a chance that none of this is true, but what is true is that outer space represents the new Australia and prisoners will be the
first inhabitants of a space colony. My prediction is that this will happen by Christmas Day 2011 - about one year before the Mayan calendar ends.
Hollywood has been cashing in on what they and some others define as a huge apocalyptical event. But be that as it may, the first inhabitants or
attempted inhabitants of the space prison will be death row inmates and a few who have been convicted and are serving life sentences for
horrible crimes. Crude facilities will be built on earth to provide at least some training for the space inmates. A number of them will die while
preparing for the journey, a greater number will perish while en route and the largest number will suffer wretched deaths when their spacecrafts
land and they begin constructing the prisons that will ironically house them. Most of the space inmates will look like me, but this should come as
no surprise. The expressed public disagreement will be small and muffled because the people who die will be convicted felons and once dead
their lives will no longer be financially paid for by taxpayer dollars. And besides, these real-life events will be so similar to video games that we
might actually have to get off the couch to investigate further to separate fact from fiction.
And speaking of dollars, space incarceration is motivated by prison overcrowding and the horrendous cost of jail and prison beds and the
public outcry around doing insane things like paying for college to increase the legal skill level and inject a little legitimate non-lottery-related
hope into communities.
Here’s a modified version of a poem that I wrote in 2003. It’s a little sarcastic but, I think, very true. The name of it is:
So You Wanna Be An Astronaut Tyrone?
Your name finally came up
On the waiting list
For the new prison
The one they started building
The day you were born
The one they promised you space in
That one that matched the bar code
They imprinted on your forehead
In invisible, indelible ink
Right before your circumcision
Since your criminal proclivities
Were scientifically assessed
By an independent firm
Coincidentally CEO’d
By a past chairman
Of the State’s Subcommittee on
Sentencing
But now the joint is full
Ain’t that somethin’?
On the very occasion
Of your thirteenth birthday
The day you’re considered an adult
For the purpose of claiming
Your rightful place in the
Dead Egret Prison Condos
With a relatively beautiful view
Of the drained reservoir
In Dead Egret, New York
Population 2,075
Counting the inmates
Seventy-five without
So the joint if full
What a shame
‘cause the inside is better
Than the outside these days
And now you’re left
To return to the projects
One of only twelve left in the Apple
That resemble the once futuristic flick
Escape from New York
The other buildings
Reduced to plumes of
Atomic-like dust
Stretching Hiroshima-style
To choke
Then body-slam the sun
Now you’re left
To straddle urine and vomit
In the one remaining working elevator
To take you to your apartment
The only one still occupied
On the thirty-second floor
With the brown water that works
Sometimes
And the phone that receives calls
Sometimes
But does not allow you to call out
Anytime
That function disabled by executive
order
By the mayor of the City of New York
‘cause way too many project people
Called the police
Tying up lines
Preventing real citizens
From having their complaints
Responded to
In a timely fashion
Plus, no one hears your calls anyway
No one hears your cries anyway
No one feels your pain anyway
And those who could
Don’t feel anything
Anymore
Anyway
Was that a rat chasing a dog
Or just my ‘magination?
And I hear there’s
A new program comin’ down
At the technical school
By Shotgun Eddie’s Rib Joint & Dry
Cleaners
And the announcements say
TRAVEL TO FAR OFF LANDS
FREE TRAINING
FREE SPACE SUITS
TWO MONTHS OXYGEN SUPPLIED
WITH THE THIRD MONTH’S
GUARANTEED FOR DELIVERY
IN MONTH FOUR OR MAYBE
SOONER
(Disclaimer: we are not responsible for asphyxiation and will provide training in oxygen conservation)
MINORITIES ENCOURAGED TO APPLY
So you wanna be an astronaut Tyrone?
I saw and heard Nikki Giovanni speak in Madison a few years back. Ms. Giovanni is, needless to say, enthralling and motivating. Just
being in her presence was a gift. But I was surprised at her expressed interest in space and space exploration. When it comes to space, I used
to fall into the same boring grumbling that went something like, “I don’t care about outer space. There’s plenty to do right here on earth, and I
could certainly put those billions of dollars to better use.” Now I don’t know. Ms. Giovanni helped to change my thinking. She said something
about the first manned space flight to Mars, or some planet or other, and how Black people better be on board because only Black people could
withstand days and days of darkness en route to an unknown location without totally losing it. My paraphrase is a very rough approximation of
what I understood Ms. Giovanni to say. I take credit or discredit for the space prison concept. We’ll see. Christmas Day 2011 is not that far away.
their lives, languages, dignity, heritage, bodies, minds and culture snuffed out or severely minimized, marginalized and demonized like other
groups of “discovered” peoples around the globe.
According to a United States Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics report, there were about 2,293,000 people behind bars at the
end of 2007 with roughly two-thirds of this staggering number in prisons and one-third in jails. Two-million incarcerated people was a record a
few short years ago. Other sources indicate that 60 percent of jail and prison inmates are racial and ethnic minorities. The United States
imprisons the largest number of people in the world. Over 2,000,000 inmates represents not only the greatest proportion of a population behind
bars, but also the largest sheer number of incarcerated people.
There is much talk, research and speculation these days around the question of which planets could possibly sustain life. The presence or
absence of water is a key consideration. It seems a bit presumptuous, to me, to assume that water is required for life to exist. Water is certainly
necessary for life as we know it, but chances are that there are other types of life in the universe and that there could quite possibly be life forms
that do not require water. It is also not unreasonable to say that there is a good chance that our definition of “life” is largely limited by what we
know. For all we know H1N1 could be a visitor from another planet or a visitor could be sitting on your right shoulder at this very moment
without you knowing it. Whenever the term “life” is used I think it should be followed by “as we know it.” Many of us remember reading about
how people were killed for having the audacity to believe and say that earth was not the center of the universe. Earth is one speck among
countless celestial bodies.
And there is a chance that none of this is true, but what is true is that outer space represents the new Australia and prisoners will be the
first inhabitants of a space colony. My prediction is that this will happen by Christmas Day 2011 - about one year before the Mayan calendar ends.
Hollywood has been cashing in on what they and some others define as a huge apocalyptical event. But be that as it may, the first inhabitants or
attempted inhabitants of the space prison will be death row inmates and a few who have been convicted and are serving life sentences for
horrible crimes. Crude facilities will be built on earth to provide at least some training for the space inmates. A number of them will die while
preparing for the journey, a greater number will perish while en route and the largest number will suffer wretched deaths when their spacecrafts
land and they begin constructing the prisons that will ironically house them. Most of the space inmates will look like me, but this should come as
no surprise. The expressed public disagreement will be small and muffled because the people who die will be convicted felons and once dead
their lives will no longer be financially paid for by taxpayer dollars. And besides, these real-life events will be so similar to video games that we
might actually have to get off the couch to investigate further to separate fact from fiction.
And speaking of dollars, space incarceration is motivated by prison overcrowding and the horrendous cost of jail and prison beds and the
public outcry around doing insane things like paying for college to increase the legal skill level and inject a little legitimate non-lottery-related
hope into communities.
Here’s a modified version of a poem that I wrote in 2003. It’s a little sarcastic but, I think, very true. The name of it is:
So You Wanna Be An Astronaut Tyrone?
Your name finally came up
On the waiting list
For the new prison
The one they started building
The day you were born
The one they promised you space in
That one that matched the bar code
They imprinted on your forehead
In invisible, indelible ink
Right before your circumcision
Since your criminal proclivities
Were scientifically assessed
By an independent firm
Coincidentally CEO’d
By a past chairman
Of the State’s Subcommittee on
Sentencing
But now the joint is full
Ain’t that somethin’?
On the very occasion
Of your thirteenth birthday
The day you’re considered an adult
For the purpose of claiming
Your rightful place in the
Dead Egret Prison Condos
With a relatively beautiful view
Of the drained reservoir
In Dead Egret, New York
Population 2,075
Counting the inmates
Seventy-five without
So the joint if full
What a shame
‘cause the inside is better
Than the outside these days
And now you’re left
To return to the projects
One of only twelve left in the Apple
That resemble the once futuristic flick
Escape from New York
The other buildings
Reduced to plumes of
Atomic-like dust
Stretching Hiroshima-style
To choke
Then body-slam the sun
Now you’re left
To straddle urine and vomit
In the one remaining working elevator
To take you to your apartment
The only one still occupied
On the thirty-second floor
With the brown water that works
Sometimes
And the phone that receives calls
Sometimes
But does not allow you to call out
Anytime
That function disabled by executive
order
By the mayor of the City of New York
‘cause way too many project people
Called the police
Tying up lines
Preventing real citizens
From having their complaints
Responded to
In a timely fashion
Plus, no one hears your calls anyway
No one hears your cries anyway
No one feels your pain anyway
And those who could
Don’t feel anything
Anymore
Anyway
Was that a rat chasing a dog
Or just my ‘magination?
And I hear there’s
A new program comin’ down
At the technical school
By Shotgun Eddie’s Rib Joint & Dry
Cleaners
And the announcements say
TRAVEL TO FAR OFF LANDS
FREE TRAINING
FREE SPACE SUITS
TWO MONTHS OXYGEN SUPPLIED
WITH THE THIRD MONTH’S
GUARANTEED FOR DELIVERY
IN MONTH FOUR OR MAYBE
SOONER
(Disclaimer: we are not responsible for asphyxiation and will provide training in oxygen conservation)
MINORITIES ENCOURAGED TO APPLY
So you wanna be an astronaut Tyrone?
I saw and heard Nikki Giovanni speak in Madison a few years back. Ms. Giovanni is, needless to say, enthralling and motivating. Just
being in her presence was a gift. But I was surprised at her expressed interest in space and space exploration. When it comes to space, I used
to fall into the same boring grumbling that went something like, “I don’t care about outer space. There’s plenty to do right here on earth, and I
could certainly put those billions of dollars to better use.” Now I don’t know. Ms. Giovanni helped to change my thinking. She said something
about the first manned space flight to Mars, or some planet or other, and how Black people better be on board because only Black people could
withstand days and days of darkness en route to an unknown location without totally losing it. My paraphrase is a very rough approximation of
what I understood Ms. Giovanni to say. I take credit or discredit for the space prison concept. We’ll see. Christmas Day 2011 is not that far away.
