Dushan’s term at Best Beautiful as DJ was coming to its end. That place was made welcome to us by him because he created a
place for us foreigners to feel comfortable, and we always got the VIP treatment. At its peak level, there were about 50 of us foreigners
that knew each other and made plans to go out and enjoy the life in Hefei together. There were about a couple hundred more
foreigners, but some of them were loners or had no interest in going out with us, or were families. Besides going to the bars, we would
also go to restaurants. There was one restaurant that had seats on the first floor, and the second floor was a rooftop where they had many
tables. The place was well known in the city for its crawfish, or “Baby lobster” as they liked to call it. One time, David put me in an article
in the newspaper in one of Hefei’s local newspapers saying I liked baby lobster, as well as many other things, but I thought it was
interesting because no one asked me any questions. They just wrote something they thought was interesting about me without even
knowing if it was true or not. There was also a barbecue restaurant that we often went to where we would eat many of the popular foods
on skewers. That place was where I first met John from Canada, a young man with bleached and spikey hair who claimed to be the world
taekwando champion for at least one year, and another young Chinese man named Unicorn. Unicorn had very long hair that was a little
wavy and he usually wore it in a ponytail. His father worked in the government, and always let Unicorn drive around his Jeep Cherokee
whenever he asked for it. I would never buy a car in China.
       Dushan’s boss invited us to have a late night dinner again at the same restaurant. There weren’t as many of us foreigners with him
this time though. Among us were Umesh from Nepal, Saadi from Syria, me, and of course Dushan. The boss with the snake eyes spoke to
Dushan and Saadi in Mandarin, and they were fully capable of responding to him. Lucky usually translated what he said for me. The
boss was amazed that so many people from different countries could be together eating a meal at the same table in China. He asked me
a few questions, and I spoke an answer to Lucky to say to him. He said, “You can relax. We’re old friends now.” I always gave him short
answers because I wasn’t able to communicate with him. He said through Lucky, “The other two gentlemen say a lot to me, but you
always say only a few words. You appear to be a deep thinker, but we don’t know what you are thinking. Maybe you don’t like Chinese.”
That caught Saadi’s and my full attention. We both said, “What?!” as we looked around the table for an answer that didn’t come. I asked
Saadi, “What is Lucky talking about?!” and he said, “I don’t know! It’s stupid! I understand you!” I didn’t know what else to say after that, so I
just kept silent and didn’t say much else during the meal.
       The next night at Best Beautiful, I saw the boss again, and I asked Lucky to say something to him for me. I said to him with Lucky’s
help, “I’m sorry if I was being rude last night.” But the boss said, “No. I wasn’t even taking it like that.” “Anything else?” Lucky asked. “No,” I
said.
       There was a foreigner from Australia that I had seen once at Best Beautiful who I didn’t like so much. He didn’t do anything to me,
but I had a sense that there was something dishonest about him, or at least unlikeable. One night, I met Umesh, Minku, and their Chinese
friend I had met once named Vincent, and we had fun like we usually do. I saw Minku drinking with the foreigner from Australia at the
counter. They were drinking whiskey and Coke, a lot of it. So I was concerned about Minku, but let him continue as he wished. After they
finished drinking, I saw the Australian walk out of the bar like he had done his deed. A couple hours later, Minku, Umesh, Vincent, and I
were sitting on one of the velvet couch booths, and Minku was very quiet and could hardly move. He started throwing up, and we
decided to rush him out of the place before he made too much of a mess. Umesh and I carried him by the shoulder and we went quickly
out of the bar. We opened the big door that led out into the front hallway to get to the elevator. Just as we got the door open, Minku
spewed out some chunks onto the floor, right in front of my friends Tom from Italy, and a couple of young Russian women who worked at
the Holiday Inn. They were just about to open the door only to have the door open first and have a nice pile of vomit splash at their feet.
All three of them were looking down at the ground, and I said, “Hello” to them. One of the Russian girls asked me, “Is there anyone in
there?” and I told them, “No. There’s no one in there.” The other Russian girl asked me, “Is it because of this?” and pointed to the pile of
puke on the ground. I said, “No. That’s not the reason. You guys want to meet somewhere later?” How about 39 degrees?” One of the
Russian girls said, “Oh, I don’t really like that place.” I said, “OK then. But I have to go. See you guys later.” The whole time, Minku was  
half conscious with his arms around Umesh and my shoulders to keep standing up. His eyes were rolling around in his head.
We got out onto the walking street and grabbed a taxi. It wasn’t hard to find because there is usually a group waiting in front of the place.
In the taxi, I could hear Minku spewing onto the floor of the taxi, and I kept looking at the driver to see if he could hear him, but it didn’t
seem like he noticed. About five miles away from Best Beautiful, we reached Umesh and Minku’s apartment very near to An Da, Anhui
University, and that was only the beginning of Minku’s trouble.
China Dispatch/Andrew Gramling
Foreigners in China at night: Too much to drink