| Dear Dr. Al, I am a female and I began a job five years ago and since that time, I have had a same Secretary. Over the years, we have developed a relationship which has moved from purely professional to somewhat personal. What I mean is that conversations and discussions are both work related and non-work related. I am beginning to realize that my secretary has begun taking privileges to which the other secretarial staff is not entitled. For example, longer than usual tea breaks, extended telephone conversations, open-toe shoes, etc. Recently, she asked to borrow my car. How do I reverse this trend when I really do not want to adversely affect my relationship with the secretary. It also appears that she has friends in high places, meaning that I believe she has a social relationship with MY MALE BOSS. What do I do? Desperate Dear Desperate, There is an old saying we have at home that goes, "Play with puppy, puppy lick your face." There is a certain empathic relationship that must be fostered and maintained between an administrator and his/her members of staff to ensure both harmony and productivity in the work place. As a boss and supervisor you hold sway to monitoring, evaluating, advising, instructing, modeling, consulting, supporting and sharing. There is a certain distance, yet closeness, necessary to be able to perform these tasks effectively. It is your responsibility to reassert that distance or you will never regain your effectiveness as a boss. Her relationship with your boss is another matter. Dual relationships never end positively. There may be nothing you can do about your boss' condition but watch him dangle. There is an end to every piece of rope. I would advise you to make sure you are not close when that rope drops. Because he is the boss, anyone near to him will go down. Begin the process of preparing a safe nest -- a safe area for yourself. Dual relationships never end well. That is a guarantee. Dr. Al Do you have questions? Do you have challenges? Of course you do. Address your questions to Dr.Algernon_Felice@yahoo.com. |
 |
| Ask Dr. Al Desperate |
 |