Elvis and I went out together one night. Our friends had told us about a new club that opened up in the same building section
as 39 degrees and other clubs we had been to. They said it was very big and fun, so we went there to see what they were all talking
about. When we stepped into the place, there was more to see than our minds were able to process at once. The place was as big
as an indoor basketball stadium, and there were lights flashing all around and mega speakers blasting with about 500 people
dancing and sitting at tables all over the place. There were a couple of pole dancers, and their platforms would slowly rise up into
the air and drop back down at times just behind the service counter. Something would definitely get broken on those girls or worse
if they were to lose their grip on the poles and fall off the platforms. Elvis was looking all around with his eyes large with
amazement. I said what I thought was in both our minds. “This is the best one yet!” As a group, in our earlier days, we foreigners
had been to about a dozen different clubs together, sometimes in large groups, and sometimes in smaller groups. Each place had
its own atmosphere and regulars that would go there. There weren’t too many scruffy looking people or single wanderers and drifters
that went out. Some places were a little dangerous, and others, we were basically the honored guests there. It was like a dream.
There was one place called Real Love that was on Changjiang Road. I had heard there was a knife incident there once, so I asked
Minku to go there with me one night to see what the place was like. It was basically just a dance pit, and didn’t seem too
threatening of a place, which might have been to our benefit. It might have been safe because there were about 20 security
guards dressed in green army fatigues to keep the place under control after the knife incident occurred.
      Elvis asked me if I wanted a drink, but I told him that I wasn’t drinking anymore. I had real determination to stay away from
alcohol these days after what happened several months earlier. I even burned my arm to remind myself not to drink anymore. Elvis
and I sat at the counter. The barmaids were wearing some interesting black outfits that looked like Halloween costumes. I saw Elvis
staring just behind me at someone without taking his eyes off them for even a second with a look on his face like, ”Yeah. Go ahead
and try something.”. “What are you doing, man?” I asked. “I’m just letting him know I’m serious.” Elvis had problems before with
some of the waiters and bouncers in other places, like at 39 degrees. One time I came there late, and there was a group of about
ten of them standing there looking nonchalantly at Elvis, Evnas, Rodney, and a couple other friends as though there was a
confrontation. I asked Elvis what was happening, but he said it was nothing. Sure didn’t seem like nothing to me, and I was
preparing myself mentally for a rumble, but the situation later diffused itself and we went on dancing. I’m not sure whose fault it
was because Elvis could be a bit defensive sometimes, but I know that the bar staff could sometimes be a bit unfriendly in places.
Elvis and I stayed at this new club until around 2:00 in the morning, and then we both went home. Sadly, that was the last time I
saw my friend, the first foreigner friend I had ever made in Hefei when I first came there the previous year to get out of range of
Daler’s reach.
      One time I was at the Revolutionary Bar, and one of the students who was training at the police college whom I had met when
I came there to do an English corner once before saw me there and recognized me. He was sitting at a table with a couple of his
friends and motioned me to come and join them. I also recognized him easily. He gave me one of the beers that he had at his
table and had a cheers with me and asked me if I would teach him English using very broken language. Perhaps he had just
finished class, or wanted to show off his uniform, but he was still wearing his green army fatigues that many of the students wear at
his school. In a small area near the entrance, he tried to teach me how to march like the Chinese army soldiers do. After having
some beers, I wasn't exactly following him so carefully, but at last, I got the foot movements correctly. He also taught me a couple
of self-defense moves, the whole time not being able to verbally communicate with me, but he still did it, and I followed. When
one lives in a country where they cannot speak the language, they learn how to make guesses about what the other person means
when they say and do things. I was not born with that skill, however, and it took some time to develop.
      I was directed by my friends to an airline service to buy my plane ticket. Qi Sheng’s father told me that his wife would help me
to go buy the plane ticket when I was ready, but for some reason, I was confident that I could handle it myself. I was just lucky that
some of the people could speak English there, or it would have been much more difficult or impossible. I bought the plane ticket
that would depart from Shanghai to Beijing, and then all the way to San Francisco for the middle of October. I spent much of my
last days with Qi Sheng and his family. They said I was welcome to have dinner with them every day. We also had a few other
planned activities.
      One night, I went with Qi Sheng, his father, Qi Sheng’s cousin, our friend Nancy, and her new boyfriend to a KTV in the city to
sing songs. When Nancy came to sit next to me on the couch and talked to me, I could see deep within her dark reflective brown
eyes that she truly did have something for me, and it wasn’t just that she was drunk before that she expressed interest in me when I
went with her and others to the Night Cat Club a month earlier. But now she has a boyfriend, so why is she still thinking anything
like that? I certainly did not want to be responsible for getting in between her and him, so I kept my emotional distance. Nobody
dared to sing English songs at KTV, but sometimes Qi Sheng would sing along with me using a second microphone when it was
my turn. I was completely lost when everyone else sang Chinese songs. There was no English translation, and only the Chinese
characters would appear on the screen and get highlighted as it was time to sing the lyrics. I tried to catch the meaning of the
songs by watching the videos. The overall tone was always obvious, either a happy or sad love song, or sometimes a silly and wild
performance that didn’t seem to have anything serious to talk about. The performances varied between ancient and reflective
times and modern and complex living with many pop-cultural themes. I think it’s safe to say that people’s attitudes have changed
much since the olden days, but how much exactly is not so easy to say. Who was there to witness it that is still alive today? The
answer should be no one, unless reincarnation is real, though it cannot be proven using practical means. We can only imagine
what it was like and try to experience it in history books and other kinds of literature and artwork, and also what our limited scope of
mental vision will allow us to see. Life is truly infinite.
      Qi Sheng’s father also invited me to go to a wedding that was for someone who was in their extended family. “There will be a
wedding in our family. Would you like to go with us, Andrew?”, he asked. “I’m not sure, Mr. Qi,” I replied. “Too many Chinese
people?” he asked. If too many Chinese people were a problem, then I was definitely in the wrong country. “No no no, it’s not that,”
I said. “It’s just that in my country, we usually don’t go to weddings when we don’t know the person who is getting married. That’s
all.” But he didn’t let that become a reason for me not to go. “Nevermind! I think you can have a try!”, he said. So I went with Qi
Sheng and his parents to where the wedding reception was being held. There was no church wedding ceremony where the rings
and wedding vows are exchanged. Just dinner in a banquet hall with many guests like in the U.S. after the church ceremony is
over. I was told that there is a private ceremony for the wedding couple sometime before the actual wedding party takes place.
When we first arrived, Mr. Qi gave me a red envelope and told me that it is Chinese tradition to put some money inside and give it
to the married couple. They young man and woman were both standing at the entrance welcoming guests in their wedding
clothes, which were western-style and not traditional Chinese clothes, and both were smiling such big smiles. I gave them the
envelope with the money I had put inside and they both thanked me, though in the back of their minds, I bet they were wondering,
“Who is this foreigner?” though they couldn’t complain since I gave them a present. There were about 200 guests at the dining
hall. I met some of Qi Sheng’s aunts, uncles, and cousins there, but not many of them could speak English. Though I was the only
one who didn’t know what was going on, I still had a nice time there.
China Dispatch/Andrew Gramling
Night life in China and a wedding